A Double Thanksgiving Dilemma

As commercials boast of early Christmas planning and I watch Generation Cryo, I think of my Turkey Day dilemma. Two dinners and one me… Yupp, I’m supposed to eat this feast at my own place with the blood family I hate and my future in-laws I love. Don’t get me wrong- I love my mom and grandmother in a love-hate relationship kind of way, it’s just that I can’t stand my cousins or my aunt. My mother and grandmother are hard enough as it is.

I know I should be thankful, especially around this season, for the little bit of family that I do know, but I can’t help but to feel my psychic powers shining through right now. I’m seeing plenty of visions of total chaos tomorrow. Me, I’ll be the only sane one. If only everyone knew what my family was like. Full of lying, faking, stealing, psychotic people.

My boyfriend’s family is pretty far out there, too, just not in the malicious kind of way my family is. His dad is the one doing the cooking, so the taste of the food won’t be very good at all, to put it bluntly. His half sister, her kids, and her husband are going to be there. I just met them yesterday. By the way, I’m extremely shy, unlike all of my boyfriend’s gregarious family. Oh, his brother will be there and he’s been pretty shy around the kids, too, so I won’t be too lonely. At least I’ll have someone to talk to Skyrim, GTA 5, and Call of Duty: Ghosts about.

*My boyfriend turned me into a gamer.*

I’m only 17 so of course I have to do what my mom says. What does this woman say? I can eat dinner at the house first and then go to his house. Hmm. My poor stomach. How will I be able two large dinners? Eat a little at both? That would be a wee bit hard because at 58 inches and 95 pounds, all it takes to fill me up is a glass of water and a salad.

The point of Thanksgiving is to be with the one’s you love and to be thankful for everything you have. Gratitude? I’m grateful for everything I have on a daily basis…

To be with the one’s I love? That’s all I’ve ever tried to do. I’ve tried beyond reasoning to earn the love I deserve from the blood family that’s supposed to love me unconditionally. I can’t work on a hopeless case anymore. It’s time to move forward. And that, I’m thankful for.

Advertisements

Bluer Than Blue

Image

Writing letters to my mystery Blue about you.

I tell him all about your coldness

And how your hostile words make me bluer than Blue.

I shouldn’t have to, but I do miss “us.”

When we look at life,

We see that nothing is ever as it seems.

Behind all the stubborn struggles and fights,

I silently try to flee and see

All the world in its real colors.

Blue isn’t blue because he is truly an Indigo.

My guardian since what feels like forever.

So when I’m with you, we’re never alone.

You have your friends friends to ensure that.

I have my Blue.

While you play video games and I’m just sad,

Blue’s got my back.